New Beginnings!

Once again, God has put me in a new place and stripped me of all my securities. My family, my boyfriend of almost two years, and my close friends have all been taken away.

Three days after starting my new job at Compassion, my boyfriend called to tell me "he couldn't do it anymore." That really didn't come as a shock to me. I had been praying about it intensely for the past few days, having a lot of doubt in my heart. After going through my journal entries for the past, well, year, most of them said something like, "I'm frustrated", "I wish he cared more", "I wish I felt more loved". I should have gotten the clue sooner. Things weren't right. It's just hard to let go of your best friend. When I think back on the past 3 year, most memories involve him. For good or bad.

Even though the situation is hard, God has held me close to him. I have been uneasy about the relationship, and wanting more for a long time. His decision to end things was an answer to prayer! God has poured love and grace over me. He has provided me with 16 loving interns and numerous coworkers who have reached out to me, and embraced me in such a short time period. The Lord will never give someone more than they can handle, and I trust him. He will use this time to strengthen my faith and create perseverance in my life.

Compassion has been a blessing in every possible way. The projects I will be working on this summer involve writing, editing, video, and more! Basically, everything I love and enjoy doing. Also, we spend every other friday volunteering at different organizations. This friday we went to the springs mission center.

It always seems that right when you start feeling sorry for yourself, and throwing a pity party, God totally rocks your world. The testimonies I heard at the mission center penetrated deep into my soul. I have been so humbled by the men's experiences and circumstances, that I realize I have no reason to be anything but grateful and joyful.

These verses really resonated with me today:

Psalm 16:5
"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup, you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."

Psalm 20:1-9
"May the name of the Lord answer you in the day of trouble...May he grant you your heart's desires and fulfill all your plans!"

I know that God has placed the desire to have a relationship and to explore the world in my heart. He has a masterful and beautiful plan for my life.
All I have to do is say "here I am", and he will take care of the rest.

That's true love.

And here we go...

After months of anticipation, I finally started my internship with Compassion International. I moved into Colorado Springs this past weekend, and I'm loving every minute of it. I can't get over that the Rocky Mountains make up the skyline here. It's simply majestic. Living here for 3 months is going to be an adventure. Rock climbing, camping, rafting, running...you name it! I want to do it all.

Anyway, today I met all of the interns. What a lovely group of people. We got to know each other some and then headed outside to explore nature. First, we traveled to the Garden of the gods, one of CO Springs local attractions, then we drove to Craig's hike to pursue a 2.5 hour hike. Although the hike was exhausted, mainly because I have not quite adjusted to the altitude, it was awesome to be able to spend time with the people I will be hanging out and working with all summer.

Tomorrow will be our first day of work, and I'm so excited to meet Amber and get more oriented on the details of my job as the Program Communications Intern.

Simply put, I could not feel more blessed or happier at the moment.

Peace, love, and Compassion

Where are you going? Where have you been?

This is where I am:



And this is where I want to be:



It is at this point in the semester that everyone is exhausted, and ready for change. For some reason, I just can't get over the fact that I am three weeks away from being a senior. Whattttttt.

I am currently trying to write my LAST literature paper of what could be my entire life. That is daunting. It's over Oates' short story, "Where are you going, where have you been?" Relating that title to my life, it makes me contemplate exactly where I have been, and where am I going. I have been pondering those questions for the past two days, and it just makes me thrilled that I can give those questions to the Lord who has everything under control.

The story is a warning to not get so consumed with the present that we fail to learn from the past, and not look at how our actions have future implications. Connie, the protagonist, is so enthralled with herself that her vanity ultimately leads to her destruction, and death. She has no sense of the past or future. For almost the entire duration of the story, Connie is trapped in the present, a present that has no sense.

That's a mouthful.

Recently I have been thinking about Compassion a lot. I cannot WAIT to start. Sometimes I wonder why I was blessed with this opportunity. I feel inadequate and get nervous that I won't be able to handle the tasks at hand. However, I have to trust that the Lord would not have given me anything I won't be able to handle.

Oh dear...back to paper writing....why can't literature paper come in blog form instead of MLA format.....

Reflections on junior year

I am officially done with class as a Junior in college. This year has been wild. Safaris in South Africa and running through the Czeck Republic wild. This time last year, Drew and I were raising support to travel through Africa, and now I am fundraising for a Compassion trip to Nicaragua. Throughout the year, I have traveled to 15 plus countries, and have had my mind and heart opened to the needs and realities of this world. I get nostalgic when I think about my experiences abroad. How I miss the sights and sounds in the streets walking to class, watching old couples holding hands, men bringing sunflowers to their women, and friends sitting casually under umbrellas drinking wine. No one was in a hurry, everyone seemed to enjoy life.

If its possible to grow 3 years in 1 year, I did it. Honestly, I feel as if I have matured tremendously throughout the past 12 months. I guess that's what living out of a backpack for 3 months will do to you. Now, I am ready to embrace the real world of Public Relations. Ready to create press kits, media releases, design until my head explodes, and write until I have no more words. Sometimes the future makes me nervous, but that's where faith comes in. I know I am taken care of and I think that's beautiful.

Senior year will bring a lot of changes. Friends will distance themselves from acquaintances, boyfriends will propose to their girlfriends, and students will stress over job offers (or lack thereof). Throughout my entire life, I have never been afraid of the future. The problem has generally been that I am too willing to accept it. I don't want to fix my gaze on the future to the point that I completely look past the present.

I am so excited about this summer. I know I am going to continue growing in my professional skills, and in my faith journey. The Lord opened this door for me, and I'm going to run through it with joy, discipline, and determination to be the best Communications Intern I can possibly be! I cannot wait for it to start. May 24, I look forward to you!

In the meantime, I am going to soak in the next week I have left in Waco. This week's motto: study hard, play hard. I plan on doing both.
Here is a list of 10 things I want/need to do in Waco before I leave:

1. Have a coffee date at CG
2. Walk a bear trail with a friend
3. Go on a photoshoot
4. Study hard for finals
5. Get my car serviced
6. Design the Journalism study abroad advertisement
7. Chuy's happy hour (mainly for the free queso)
8. Watch fireworks in Cameron Park and have a picnic
9. Set up a meeting with Buddy Edwards from Caritas
10. Go to church under the bridge for one last sunday until August

Love you waco.

An Easter Photostory

Be still.

Be still.
Grace is the most beautiful concept in the whole wide world.

Thank goodness it has nothing to do with fairness, or we would all be condemned.

I am a sinner, but I have salvation. That does not even make sense.

Thank you God for grace, I look around, and life is too good to be true. It's not even fair. I don't deserve any of this.

Thank you God for throwing away my sins, and seeing me as a beloved, beautiful creation. You do not look at my past, but you see a future filled with goodness and mercy.

I have nothing to be anxious for, and nothing to fear.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

It's madness I say!

SIC 'EM BEARS!!!

Welcome to March Madness. One of most hyped sporting events during the year, and both the Bears and Lady Bears Baylor basketball teams made the NCAA tournament!

This past weekend Drew and I drove down to Houston along with the rest of Waco to cheer on the Bears in the SWEET 16 & ELITE 8 games.



Although we got a late start friday (thank you Village Apartments for deciding to turn my water off), we made it on time for the first game against St. Mary's. Baylor went to work, and won the game 46-17. It was a blowout! I've never been to a NCAA tournament before, and it was so exciting to be bursting with school spirit while competing against one of the best teams in the nation.

Chris Brown even showed up.

Sweet.

Since we were in a new city, Drew and I decided to explore Houston on Saturday. We ended up at a random park downtown and just sat in the grass admiring the beautiful weather and scenery. This week has been so emotionally draining, and it was refreshing to just sit and be still. Overall, I think Houston is a great city, but I still do not think I could live there. Too hot, and too Texas.

Sunday finally arrived, and it was the anticipated game between DUKE and BAYLOR. I'm so glad we were able to play Duke because it just goes to show how far Baylor basketball has come. It was a well fought game, and Duke ended up winning in the end. As much as it hurts to loose to Duke, the team I would want to beat the most, it was still such an accomplishment for the Bears to make it to the Elite Eight, and I'm so proud of them! SIC EM BEARS!

Peace!