Thursday, June 24, 2010

What gives you life?

Finding your calling

Throughout the past month, I have learned so much about letting things go and trusting the Lord. Although it's been hard, I am beginning to see the beauty in what God is doing in my life. Sometimes, we have to let the old go, so that something new and more perfect can come into our lives.

He says:

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

I can see this so clearly in my life. He is doing a new thing, and is making a way for me. I no longer have a desire to hold on to the "former things." Letting go, I have such a strong desire to move forward because I know God has things in store for me in the future that are going to align with my heart's desires. It's actually very exciting!

Here is another promise that I am clinging onto so tightly:

"And the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the branch, the restorer of streets to dwell in." Isaiah 58:11-12

This is a scorched place in my life. It would be easy to feel broken and weak, but I trust that the Lord will guide me and fulfill the desires of my heart. He will not forsaken me. What a beautiful, beautiful promise.

I think it's a common feeling to experience fear and doubt at this point in life. I'm almost 22, a senior in college, single and feeling completely at a loss for what is to come. I am nearing a crossroad in life, and it is always a tad bit scary to make those life decisions, knowing they could change your destiny forever.

This past week, the interns had a meeting where we listened to a guy talk about our calling in life. He basically told us that we need to combine our talents/gifts, the things that bring us life, and the affirmations that people are speaking over our lives to get our calling.

This calling that God places on our lives is something that we can't rid ourselves of, no matter how much we mess up or try to flee from it. (Remember Jonah? Yeah...running from his calling didn't really get him very far.) Feel blessed if God gives you a calling that feels unattainable. That means that it is sure to fail lest God be in it! That's powerful.

We are to steward the call that is on our life. It is irrevocable, and it is our job to surrender our own will to God so He can be further glorified through our lives!

This is a lifelong progression of wrestling internally to figure it all out. Although you may have defining moments in life that push you forward to your calling, it will be a journey to completely understand your purpose in life. It will be tested, but welcome the test. This will only create perseverance, and faith. It will be the most impactful if you persevere.

Remember:

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:31-34

And just for the fun of it, I decided to record the things that I feel give me life, and my "strengths." I can't wait to see what God decides to it.

What gives me life? (In no particular order, except for #1).

1. Jesus
2. Loving and serving others
3. Music
4. Photography, writing, and art
5. Nature
6. Being outside of my comfort zone
7. Exploring and experiencing other cultures
8. Alone time
9. Living simply. Taking joy in the simple things.
10. Coffee. :)

Strengths? According to the MB test I took coming into BU freshman year...

1. Belief
2. Command
3. Input
4. Responsibility
5. Relator

Now....how to combine my calling, my strengths, and the things that are life giving to me. That's the tough part. The good thing is that I don't have to figure it out right now. I just have to be willing for God to use me in whatever way He wants! I think God desires for us to flexible :)

So for now, I will trust the He has me in His hand, and will take care of all my needs.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14

Peace.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Weak and Willing

"Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
it often overwhelms me
but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life
their courage compells me
And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary and the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sister standing by the dying man's side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
and when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them" When the Saints- Sarah Groves


After spending last night in the emergency room for random hives that appeared all over my body, I woke up feeling weak and kind of shaken. This has been a very familiar feeling for the past two weeks.

If you've never listened to Sara Groves "When the Saints" you need to because it might change your life. It has really resonated with my spirit for the past 2 weeks. Sometimes, I feel so heavy with the burdens of this world. Whether it's fighting world poverty or struggling with my own loneliness and insecurities, sometimes I lack courage and boldness.

But when I really think about all of the faithful men and women who have gone before me, it makes me want to be one them, and to live a life worthy of calling myself a believer of Christ.

Today was one of those days where I heard testimony after testimony, charge after charge about what living a life for Christ looks like. I'm so thankful I decided to go into work today because the interns had the wonderful opportunity to meet with Compassion's President Wess Stafford, and to hear International Justice Mission's CEO speak at chapel.

Wess is the real deal. Wess told our group his story and how he became the President of Compassion. He grew up in an African village, speaks 4 languages, has his Ph.D., and is one of the most humble, most sincere men I've ever met. His life has been the most incredible journey, and his story brought me to tears, and inspired me fall more in love with Jesus.

He challenged us to find our cause. To find something we care about so deeply that it can bring us to tears within 30 seconds. I can feel it in my heart that God is calling me to something very unique. I wish I knew what that was, but I can feel the passion burning inside of my heart to bring justice, mercy, and grace into a world that is desperate, hurting and crying out for love.

Wess told us that, "The good men die first." Seriously for the first time in my life, I feel ready to die for the gospel. I want to experience the gospel the way Jesus preached it: dying to ourselves and picking up our cross on a daily basis. This is not an easy thing to do, but I pray that someday I know what it means.

There is no time to be apathetic. There is no time to be anything but proactive. I pray that God continues to fill my spirit with His spirt, and gives me the strength to press on, especially during times where I feel so weak and emotionless.

I'm constantly so inspired by the people around me. For the first time in a long time, I am actually excited to be on my own, and free to experience whatever God throws my way!

Going through so many emotions in the past week, I was beginning to just feel numb. Nothing hurt anymore, and I hated it. I just wanted to feel.

Today, I felt. I felt the tears stream down my face as I realized that God is calling me to a cause much bigger than me, a cause that I can't fight without holding God's hand on a daily basis. I'm ready to accept the challenge, and to experience life and joy abundantly, the kind only experienced through Christ!

Thank you God for loving me.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Yoga and the mountains.


I have just loved every moment in Colorado. Each day brings forth a new adventure!


This weekend Josh and Kaylanne came down from Denver to hangout with me in the Springs. We went to Manitou Springs to hike the Waldo Canyon. It was such a lovely day, and it felt so nice to be around such great friends. They really have been so encouraging to me. God is good. Anyway, we had a blast! I just need to get in better shape so I can run up and down the mountain with them : )



Josh completely in his element.

Today I went to a picnic with a few of the other interns, and then went to Sage's house to watch the Swan Princess (Ben's choice if anyone cares. haha) It was great. We went to dinner, and now I'm home.

I hope every weekend is this packed full of friends, laughter, and yoga.

peace!